'He thought he could convince me I was pregnant': 25+ ridiculous attempts exes made to get back together

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    Gesture - "I didn't love you then, but I love you now"
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    Font - r/AskReddit . Posted by u/InvincibleSummer1066. What's the dumbest thing an ex ever said to try and win you back?
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    Font - fivemetresfromthesun. "You'll never be with anyone like me" Well yeah. That's what I'm sure hoping. edit: wow! thank you so much for the gold! to everyone for contributing: I came in to work this morning feeling sick and gross and this has cheered me up immensely! 15.3k Share
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    Font - o HotWheels17. "If we break up, it's just a matter of time before you ask for your laptop back and I use it for school so I'm going to have to drop out and my kids are going to be raised in poverty. Do you really want that on your conscience!?" EDIT: I lent him my extra laptop before I realized he bleeds all the women in his life dry of all their resources. I wasn't about to let him keep it after the he put me through. I got my laptop back when we broke up and he destroyed the power cord
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    Font - pleasegetoffmycase. "I just miss the boy I used to know," then she turned around and walked away. She later texted me, "I wanted you to run after me." 14.2k Share
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    Font - JBTBE. Finally broke up with him after three years. His big gesture to get me back (an e-mail about how he couldn't live without me) ended as follows: "I get now that you're not a That's why I treated you the way I did. I thought you were a but now I see you're not." Wow... Be still my beating heart! 13.8k Share
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    Font - zebra "I just don't think either of us have the right mental state to date other people right now. Come home please. Bring McDonalds" 13.6k Share
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    Font - lkayaker. "I didn't love you then, but I love you now!!" O you cheated on me two days ago. ↑ 11.2k Share
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    Font - keepitdownoptimist. She cheated. I said so long, get out of my house. She did, moved in with this guy. She showed up a few weeks later with her cat and some belongings and said she made a mistake, wants me back because she "needs me to take care of her." Sorry, what? You're trying to move in while cheating on me and simultaneously asking me to pamper you? 10.5k Share
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    Font - InvincibleSummer1066 OP. "I would have treated you better, except I thought you'd never leave me!" ↑ 9.7k ↓ Share
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    Font - SrCross Country Had an ex tell me that if I did not take her back she would sue me. Long story short I'm now a proud owner of a victory in court. 7.5k ↓ Share
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    Font - [deleted] A month after we had broken up, I started dating a new guy. My ex told me that he would cut his hair to look like the new guy's, dress like the new guy, and act exactly like the new guy if I got back with him. 7.2k Share
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    Font - Kyler TopFlight. my phone rings "Hey just wanted to let you know that I'm getting married this afternoon and I'm pregnant so now is your last chance..." 2 years later my phone rings "Hey, I'm pregnant again and getting married again...this is your real last chance..." 6.5k Share
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    Font - istandforgnodab. "I'm just kidding. We are not really broken up". Me: Ono sorry that's not how this works. Edit: some more info. She broke up with me over the phone, during which I tried to rationalize why, how, what went wrong, etc. I talked with her for od 30 minutes at least but she was content on saying sorry it's over. I rationalized and accepted and was ready to move on. Heart tender obviously since the relationship was real for me at the time. At this point is when she said "just k
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    Font - devoricpiano "My new girlfriend is terrible... I miss you a lot. Like I sometimes regret leaving you. You are so much better than her. Just so you know, I'm going to dump her soon. After we go on vacation, because I'm using her miles to buy my ticket" Like... Uh there are so many things wrong with that. And the vacation was two months away. I told him he had "made decisions" so I didn't feel bad for the fact he "missed" me and never spoke to him again. 4.9k Share
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    Font - bringmethebatman. He broke up with me by sort-of ghosting me after two years together. He wouldn't show up when we had plans, then text me later and apologize and say sweet things, but go on to ignore my calls for a week. He set his status to single on Facebook so I figured it was done and deleted him. Almost a year later he sent me a text saying he was sorry, that he was willing to talk and answer any questions I had, and that he regretted what he did because I was the second best girlfr
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    Font - olives_andsuch. Tried the ole fake pregnancy to keep me around, only thing is I'm the female. I'm not sure how he thought he could convince me I was pregnant.. 3.8k Share ...
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    Font - Rhinosaucerous. Her: remember the engagement ring I gave back to you? I would like it back. Me: I am the Lord of the ring now. We never got married. Yay! 3.1k ↓ Share
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    Font - Troll_Flogger. Left a dead rose in my mailbox after calling my house about 100 times. Called later and asked if I liked my "present" and told me that's how he feels without me, and withered. Somehow, I was not moved to take him back. ↑ 2.9k ↓ Share
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    Font - JDogg_of_RS. "I'll stop burning your food if you come back!" O I thought you just couldn't cook... 2.7k ↓ Share
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    Font - jacobmo First she tried to buy me stuff, then wanted to be fwb, then pulled the pregnancy card, then threatening to have her boys jump me. 3000 text in two days wasn't enough for a restraining order. We also only dated for about three weeks.. 2.5k Share
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    Font - sarcasticgraduate. Before breaking up we had a series of conversations to try to work things out. After I ended it he said, "I didn't realize all the stuff you talked about mattered that much to you." 2.4k Share
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    Rectangle - cooljeopardyson "Your sisters are hotter than you, but I like your personality best." Thanks a peach, but no thanks. 2.2k ↓ Share
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    Font - MrMagooLost His Shoe "I know it was wrong of me to try and separate you from all your female friends. I just get jealous sometimes. Give me another chance. We can compromise. I'll stop complaining about you seeing them, as long as you're not alone with them." (BTW- she has TONS of guy friends that she would never abandon) ↑ 1.6k ↓ Share
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    Font - jmk14 "i only want to be with you" clearly, you cheating ↑ 1.4k↓ Share
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    Font - [deleted] I'm paraphrasing here but it boiled down to "Uggh this guy I cheated on you with is so awful, we should hang out" And I was all like "Nah 1.4k ↓ Share
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    Font - Graphic DesignMonkey. 'Ok I know it was bad to dump you while you were in intensive care, but you were really bumming me out. You're a lot better now, though, so it's all good." Was in and out of critical condition and had several emergency ops over the course of 5 weeks in hospital, he dumped me over the phone while I was lying in my hospital bed. After I was discharged he waited 2 months then tried to come back. He also never came to visit once, he said he didn't want to see me that way
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    Font - + [deleted] "Im the only one that wants you" 1.2k Share
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    Font - iwasbornon420. "I know it's been like a year, but I've asked out 4 other girls and they've all said no. So I thought I'd try again with you." ↑ 911 ↓ Share
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    Font - nachoqueen My ex-husband told me he wanted me to come back, and that if I did, he'd treat me like a queen. Even dumber, I believed him. 1624 Share

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